Sometimes we feel jealous… it is a fact.
And although sometimes this jealousy appears in relationships, the truth is that we can feel the green-eyed monster next to us in many other life situations…
We can feel jealous of a friend who relies on other people instead of on us, we can feel jealous of that colleague who seems to be doing better in his work, we feel jealous within the family, when we interpret that a family member you have more facilities than yourself.
Jealousy is actually a universal emotion because it is born from great emotion… Love.
I know it may seem strange, but much of jealousy stems from love or from feeling that others are not giving us the love and attention we expect. Sometimes they even appear due to the absence of love towards oneself.
Jealousy and expectations … Jealousy appears for our expectationsfor what we expect others to do, for the love we expect from other people. And it is that although we are adults, sometimes the boy or girl that we were and that still lives in us, has a deep longing for love.
Jealousy, like any other emotion, is a signal for us to get to know each other better. That is why my advice is that when you feel this emotion, do not let yourself be impulsively carried away by what that green-eyed monster whispers to you … Better stop for a minute, breathe consciously and feel how you slowly get away from that emotion.
When you move away from emotion and enter yourself and your body through breathing, you can distance yourself from the power of jealousy and you will stop acting impulsively … You will stop creating conflicts in your environment, you will not argue, you will not demand from others. others what they cannot give you because nobody can give you the love and acceptance that should be born from you.
And if by reading these lines you become aware that you have felt jealous in the last month, I propose a short exercise to identify your expectations: Sit down, breathe consciously for a few minutes and then take a pen and paper. Write down the situations and people with whom you have been jealous. Then, one by one, ask yourself the following questions:
Is it love that has guided me in behaving and feeling this way? Was I afraid of something (of losing the other person, of feeling inferior, of not being good enough)? What things am I expecting from that person? what I expect and want from others or from life, depends on them or on me? Why do I need other people to show me respect and love? Do I feel love, respect and affection for myself?
This exercise will help you to be more introspective and to get to know yourself much better. Love is in you and jealousy is too… Find out why.
Jealousy and love towards oneself … Sometimes jealousy appears because we do not love each other, because we become our worst critic. You should know that the people who are in our environment, are usually mirrors of those things that we do not like about ourselves.
So perhaps feeling that the other does not give us enough love is a signal for us to learn to love ourselves from within ourselves. Note that We cannot find love outside of us if we don’t feel it inside.
If we believe that we are not good enough and that we do not deserve the love of other people, we will feel that it is never enough, that no matter how much love and affection they give us, it will always be little because we are not worthy of anything and that is why we will demand more from the another… More attention, more respect, more signs of love, more trust, more time, obedience… And that’s when the green-eyed monster comes into our lives and grows stronger with each fear, with our insecurity.
Jealousy and trust… Other times we feel jealous due to lack of confidence. Maybe someone has been disloyal to us, maybe even unfaithful and that makes us feel afraid that they will abandon us, that they will hurt us. And so, little by little, we lose confidence in others until we feel that no one is trustworthy and that is why we must watch … So that history does not repeat itself. What we sometimes forget is that we achieve just what we do not want because of that hypervigilance.
Distrust is born in you to prepare yourself, to suffer less, so that the blow that may come will be less treacherous, less painful. Your brain wants to protect you, but sometimes we have to show it how much protection suffocates us and makes us suffer for no reason.
Love vs Property… The worst type of jealousy is that which confuses love with possession, believing that the other person belongs to us. No human being can belong to another and only from the individual freedom of each person, an adult and conscious relationship can be born.
The true love that lives in you is pure, does not oblige, is confident and unconditional. Nobody belongs to us, we only share life with people who accompany us on the path of life. Sometimes each person takes a path and other times they continue together on the path of life. You are pure love … Wake up to your true nature.
Take jealousy as a starting point… We live to learn and jealousy can help us a lot to evolve, to live consciously. So remember, jealousy, like any other emotion, is a signal that tells you that you should know yourself better, that you should explore the reasons why you feel jealous, the reason why you always feel at a disadvantage in front of others, the reason why you distrust everything and everyone.
Jealousy can transform from within because you transform from within …
And if you need help to get to know yourself better and transform yourself, I am very close to you… just one click away.