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Educating is Everything
Elisa is the mother of a girl who does not want to be praised all the time for her daughter’s beauty and even less saying that she is the most beautiful in the world. She tells us herself.
“My second daughter, Amanda, who is now 5 years old, is blonde, with blue eyes, with soft white skin and is very very flirtatious (something that neither I nor my eldest daughter have ever been). It’s funny, because her His parents and his older sister are rather dark, with dark hair and eyes, so you can imagine the jokes about where she came from so blonde and light. Amanda is therefore a girl who fits perfectly into the canon of child beauty, because unfortunately for that there are also canons. Since I was a baby, I have heard family, friends and even strangers who greeted us on the street tell him “Who is the most beautiful girl in the world? & Rdquor;, “But how beautiful is this girl, please & rdquor; and things like that.
I do not know if it is because I already have another daughter who was not told that or because I am a teacher and I am in contact with other children, but I have never liked these kinds of phrases. I suspect that they have exacerbated my daughter’s flirtation in the mornings, who rummages in the closet for the most beautiful dress, looks at herself a thousand times in the mirror and says to me, all the time: “How am I pretty, mom? & Rdquor ;. Plus It stimulates her desire to stand out from the crowd, and I don’t want that in my daughter’s education.
One fine day, in one of those endless wardrobe fittings, as we jokingly call them at home, he said to me: “Mommy, what am I the most beautiful? & Rdquor;. I thought about it a bit, but in the end I said: “Amanda, no. You are beautiful, for me you are the most beautiful girl in the entire universe of five-year-old girls, but for each mother her daughter will be the most beautiful and that is normal. Apart from being beautiful, you are smart, brave, a good friend, you strive to get what you want, you are generous & mldr; I think that is the important thing and not being the most beautiful & rdquor;. And, afraid to lecture her, I explained that it was better to take care of improving yourself than comparing yourself to others.
The wardrobe tests in front of the mirror continue, people continue to call her beautiful when they see her on the street, but I think the message is getting through and now my daughter is not obsessed with not staining herself and she is not all the time comparing herself with other friends. And, from time to time, she tells me how brave or generous she has been at school. And what do you want me to tell you, it seems to me that this is educating her in the appropriate values ”.